I Need Your Love: Is that true?: The Search For Love, Approval, And Happiness

By Byron Katie

ISBN 1-4000-5107-X

Published by Harmony Books


In Loving What Is, bestselling author Byron Katie introduced thousands of people to her simple and profound method of finding happiness through questioning the mind. Now, I Need Your LoveIs That True? examines a universal, age-old source of anxiety: our relationships with others. In this groundbreaking book, Katie helps you question everything you have been taught to do to gain love and approval. In doing this, you discover how to find genuine love and connection.

The usual advice offered in self-help books and reinforced by our culture advocates a stressful, all-consuming quest for love and approval. We are advised to learn self-marketing and manipulative skills—how to attract, impress, seduce, and often pretend to be something we aren’t. This approach doesn’t work. It leaves millions of walking wounded—those who, having failed to find love or appreciation, blame themselves and conclude that they are unworthy of love.

I Need Your LoveIs That True? helps you illuminate every area in your life where you seem to lack what you long for most—the love of your spouse, the respect of your child, a lover’s tenderness, or the esteem of your boss. Through its penetrating inquiry, you will quickly discover the falseness of the accepted ways of seeking love and approval, and also of the mythology that equates love with need. Using the method in this book, you will inquire into painful beliefs that you’ve based your whole life on—and be delighted to see them evaporate. Katie shows you how unraveling the knots in the search for love, approval, and appreciation brings real love and puts you in charge of your own happiness.

“Everyone agrees that love is wonderful, except when it’s terrible. People spend their whole lives tantalized by love—seeking it, trying to hold on to it, or trying to get over it. Not far behind love, as major preoccupations, come approval and appreciation. From childhood on, most people spend much of their energy in a relentless pursuit of these things, trying out different methods to be noticed, to please, to impress, and to win other people’s love, thinking that’s just the way life is. This effort can become so constant and unquestioned that we barely notice it anymore.

This book takes a close look at what works and what doesn’t in the quest for love and approval. It will help you find a way to be happier in love and more effective in all your relationships. What you learn here will bring fulfillment to all kinds of relationships, including romantic love, dating, marriage, work, and friendship.” —Byron Katie


5 star must reading.   [The following is what I highlighted during my read of this excellent book -- I recommend it on my Top-ten List of Peace resources.  My purpose in providing them is to interest you, the reader, and hope that you will obtain and read the complete work.  To properly understand the highlights, you need to read the book to put them in the proper context.  B.S.] 





1.Do you believe what you think?

2.Questioning your thoughts about love

How to do your own inquiry:
now that you’ve read the overview, here are the instructions.

Ask Four Questions and Turn it Around: The pocket-sized reminder of the work

3.Seeking approval

Making yourself more agreeable:

4.Falling in love

Love story:

5.Personalities don’t love—they want something

Is it True?

Honest Communication:

6.The relationship workshop

7.What if my partner is flawed?

8.Five keys to freedom in love

1.You can make it without your fear

2.This moment should be happening

3.”This is just what I needed”: the direct route to getting your needs met.

4.Whose business am I in now?

9.The transformation of a marriage

10.What’s not to love? Could it be you?

Obstacles to loving yourself: the thing you are most ashamed of

Exercise: “Most Ashamed”

Exercise: Letter of Apology

Making friends with criticism

Exercise: Criticism

11.Living in love

12.Love itself

Further tools for inquiry


See http://www.thework.com